I haven’t blogged in almost 2 weeks.
I’ve been running.
I had three great weeks of training and then I got sick. I ran a 5k road race in Holly Springs Mississippi that consisted of a bit off-roading through a cemetery and up a steep gravel incline. It was not what you would consider a fast course, but I ran embarrassing. I ran 18:01 (solo, roads, sick) I’ve got a lot of excuses, I know.
The real excuse? I run 5k like I run half-marathons. This is very frustrating.
Still, I broke the course record. I also ran a state record. It paid for my plane ticket to Montreal. BUT 18:01 for 5k and 1:19 HM do not equal out.
5k is my nemesis.
Wednesday before the Saturday race I ran 5X1 mile repeats starting at 5:30 and working my way down to 5:20. I only took 2 minutes recovery. Then I run 18:01? This does not make sense to me.
I’m busy with work and life. I get my run in and that’s it. Monday I ran 15 miles pretty hard, it felt good but I wanted to throw up afterwards. Then I ended up sick for the next few days.
My workouts have been good (up until getting sick) so I feel like I have a big PR coming, but it’s hard to focus on running with so much else going on in life. I feel guilty even running when I’m busy (work, family, LIFE). Sometimes I feel like all this pressure is just suffocating me… I don’t sleep well. I eat too much chocolate.
Surely true elites don’t talk nonsense like this??? If this is my goal then I need to pull myself together. There is a piece of paper taped to my treadmill that says “1:17:30 It’s all possible”…
…let’s focus on that.
To stress is human, to worry constantly about spilled milk is an OCD-mom thing (I’m sorry, it is). I have never handled stress well, or pressure. It makes me want to vomit. It makes me want to scream out loud and run 17 miles as hard as I can.
Running keeps me from falling apart at the seams. . . .I will keep running.
-See you in Montreal.